It begins now

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

― William Hutchison Murray

A year ago at this time I was in Federal Prison begging the hand of death to take me in my sleep. Contemplating how I could end my life while I was awake. I was consumed by darkness.

I sit now in my apartment in Brooklyn grateful to be alive and with the gift of a second chance at life. An opportunity to take a shitty situation and turn it on its head. To be the man I want to be. To live life on my terms doing what I love.

I’m going to share with you the details around my crime, my punishment, my gift of a second chance over time. This entry is my first step, this is my beginning.

I am so grateful for my second chance at life and have embarked on the journey of improving myself 1% a day.  This website is what will hold me accountable to that. This is about pushing myself outside of my comfort zones, about doing things that scare me, about helping those in need, about creating the best version of myself I can be. It will be an evolutionary process, but one with a few key objectives:

1. Add value to those around me

2. Live a meaningful and fulfilling life.

3. Live with passion

1% a day for an entire year = 365 Percent

“So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”

― Viktor E. Frankl

I am nervous as I write this. Worried about what my family, friends and strangers will think about what I have written. I enjoy the act of writing, more appropriately, I love it. But I do not like sharing what I write. I am afraid to share, afraid of judgement, afraid of failing.

So I buried myself in the minutia of creating the site. The template, the background colors, the font, anything and everything to distract me from posting. And quite frankly to talk myself out of doing it. Using the rationalization that,

“I have to wait until it is perfect.”

I realized that this was the voice of Fear. I also realized I am sick and tired of Fear. won’t be perfect and neither will I. I will make mistakes and I will move on. So the layout, the template, the background colors may all change over time. My writing may change, hopefully getting better as I find my voice. But none of that is important right now.

What’s important is this:

Take the first step.  Begin it now.

In this age of over sharing, posting a blog entry may not seem like a big deal.  But it is to me.  Hitting the “Publish” button is going to take courage.  But the tide of fear is changing. I can already feel the relief of taking this step flowing over me.  As with most things in life, the triumph over fear far outweighs the fear itself.

So this is my 1% for today; doing something that scares me.



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